Grow Up & Love

So basically, I'm sitting here and wondering why things always have to be so difficult. Why can't we just love the people we love, and hold onto them. Why can't we appreciate them every moment instead of being un-true to them or really only caring, when it would be convenient to us.

I don't think people realize how fragile life is, and how at any single moment, the person we say we "love", could be gone forever. All the stupid fights you cause, and the problems you create really aren't doing a bit of good, because when all is said and done, you'll just end up alone with a handful of regrets.

I'm tired of being the one who always holds on. I'm tired of being the one who always makes excuses for your behavior, when I know in my heart you're the one messing up, not me. I'm tired of pretending it's all okay, and trying to hold us together when it's clear sometimes you're simply not interested at all.

Take one look at your life, and how happy we could be. For a long time I stuck by you, your lies, and all the bullshit you fed everyone else just to save face. I'm pretty much sick and tired of it.

Everyone needs to fucking grow up, and just grab onto the people you really love and care about because one day, they might be gone, and then what are you going to do about it? You'll be miserable and YOU KNOW IT.

This whole topic came to my mind tonight after stumbling across this website.
http://misty-lee.memory-of.com

It's the website my father created in memory of his love. His love that is now gone, and I know he blames himself when he shouldn't but my god people. Don't you realize how quickly your son, daughter, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, or family member could be gone?

Why is it so hard for people to just live, and love. Why does there always have to be someone in the equation who makes it hard? I wonder if I'd be missed if I wasn't here tomorrow...

I LOVE my FAMILY. Or At Least the Ones at Dinner Last Night!

So Thanksgiving was yesterday and while it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, it turned out to be one of the best Thanksgivings I've had in a very long time. Becca didn't make it more than a few minutes before she decided she didn't want to partake of the Holiday meal, so she called her father and he picked her up. I was devastated but had to stick with my guts that if she didn't want to be around, I wasn't going to make her stay and both of us end up miserable over the whole deal. I hope she had a better day at her fathers. I was hurt she didn't want to stay with us, but like I already said, I couldn't bring myself to want to bribe her to stay when she didn't really want to be there. I let that go, and tried to enjoy the rest of my day.

The day turned out beautiful with a table full of remarkable food and we all were so stuffed. Judi, Jodie, Mike and I ate everything we possibly could without feeling a pain from it. I especially loved the new yams Jodie had made this year with Bacon, and lots of butter. The results were more phenomenal than I could have ever dreamed. It was fabulous! The Dixie salad danced on my taste buds just as they had when I was a little girl, eating the Dixie salad Grandma Lola had prepared. The butter tips were just as scrumptious as they always have been. The only thing missing were Mikes traditional rutabagas. Everyone was somewhat disappointed he hadn't made his favorite dish for us all. Maybe next year though.

Ciera, uncle Harv's daughter, popped up after dinner and visited with us for a couple hours probably. We discussed how ridiculous it is, all the politics in our family, and how sad that we have all fallen so far apart from one another and we also giggled about how rude and obnoxious some of our family members are. We reminisced about our loved ones that had passed away and talked about Thanksgivings when Jodie was little, and what it was like when Nanny and Papa were around. We talked a lot about Grandma Lola, and Uncle Harv. We debated on what family member we were most like, and the ones that are quite opposite from us. It was a lovely visit, where we all could be ourselves, talk about how we REALLY felt about things, and just could be ourselves without any kind of judgment or critique from the ones sitting around the table. Good Juju. Accepting our family members for what they are, loving them regardless of their choices, bad or good... and just loving people for who they are.Everyone at that table tonight was an open book, and that was comforting.

After all of our bellies were incredibly full, we took our attention to the Christmas decorations that needed to be hauled in from the garage and put up all around the house. Aunt Jodie is somewhat a Christmas-a-holic. Anything she finds suitable for holiday decor gets purchased and later brought out the night of Thanksgiving. Box, after box, they piled into the backroom of her house as we all dug in and went to our individual tasks. It was my job to do the village above her china cabinet. I also helped with some minor details in other places, but the village was all mine. I'm claiming it. Mike didn't do much decorating, besides hanging some garland up, but that wasn't really one of his jobs. His job was to haul boxes back and forth from the house to the outdoor garage. He completed his task with the utmost swiftness, once pushed a little by Jodie or myself.

After a little decorating, Michael and I drove to Donald's house, so we could visit him for a moment and wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. They hadn't even finished the turkey by the time we showed up. It still had almost another 2 hours of cooking to be done, so they were all probably starving and Michael and I were still bloated out and feeling quite "round" after we had just ate the feast of all feasts.

We returned to Jodie's after about 2 hours and couldn't wait to get started on the pies! Jodie bought 6 Crowshaw's Pies for dessert. Mind you, there was ONLY 4 of us at dinner so that means everyone got a pie and a half to eat! I had a very large slice of pumpkin with their famous whipped topping, Mike settled for a piece of Apple, Pumpkin and Very Berry. He also decided he could "handle" bringing home an apple pie that was left over. I'm sure it wont last 'til tomorrow.

We talked about activities in our lives that are coming up soon, and what Judi and Jodie would be doing with the rest of their weekend together. Judi was due to leave St. George on Sunday so her days here are limited before she heads home. We decided we would have a dessert making night with candies, cookies and other treats on Sat. night so that will be yummy. I mean, FUN.

Overall, it was a blessing to be invited to Jodie's for Thanksgiving this year. We really enjoyed ourselves.

Thanksgiving is Here!

Funny how you can always wake up on Thanksgiving day, and something feels a little different. I guess that's because it has always been that way ever since I was little. Tradition falls in way of getting up, and heading over to my Aunt Jodie's as soon as we were dressed and cleaned up. When I think of Thanksgiving, it's etched into my head to think of Jodies house with all her pretty dishes, and decorations and "fun" things. She was always good at hosting "parties", and Thanksgiving I knew, was nothing less than a tame party for her. You could tell she enjoyed hosting, and providing us the best Thanksgivings ever. Her linens, dishes, centerpieces... it all matched exquisitely. I know I have little bits of her in me by the way I used to have my home, and decorations for every holiday. I never had the dishes like she did but that was simply a matter of affordability. I was convinced YEARS ago that I secretly wanted a "dish-room" just like she had. This year I'll be spending Thanksgiving with the ones I love the most. The ones that have truly been there for me through the last couple years. Probably the only ones left on the face of this planet that know me at all anymore. I'm grateful for their love, their sacrifices for me, and their patience. How lucky I am to have these people. Michael will be there, with our sweet Becca, and although Colt and Maggie will be absent, we'll carry on as if they are still there and all this really means for me is that there will be more "dixie salad" and "butter-tips" left for me. :) Happy Thanksgiving guys.... I may not have much, but what I have is ENOUGH.

"It's Only Noon"

It never ceases to amaze me how often I hear these words "it's only noon", when we need to be somewhere in an hour. Men. God! They so easily just get up in the morning,throw some clothes on, run some fingers through their 're-wettened" hair and can call it good. But no, I have to get up, shower, find something to wear, put my full mask of a face on, dry then style my hair and last but not least find a matching pair of high heels. My whole routine from start to finish only takes me about 45 minutes but that's not including the never ending list of tasks that also have to be completed before I leave the house for the day. Tidying up after last nights late movie and snack binge can take, lord knows, 30 minutes in itself. Then there is vaccuming, taking out the garbage, laundry, dishes, dusting, polishing floors, cleaning mirrors, cleaning toliets and countertops, the list goes on and on and I try doing most of this each morning before I leave. So SERIOUSLY, you can take your "IT'S ONLY NOON", and shove it up your ass. Next time I ask you to get up, I'm IMPLYING I need some help getting things done BESIDES just you waking up, rolling off the bed, and getting dressed. Oh and yes I still hear him snoring, and I asked him to get up 1 hour ago.... the clock is ticking...

Makeup...It Makes a Man....

I know that some of you wouldn't agree with me, but there is something about that dark smudge around a man's eye that is totally seductive and sultry. Men who wear makeup, are no longer associated with the "freaks", but the sexually attractive, powerful men residing in Hollywood or active in the music scene. I personally think Michael would be super sexy with a blackened smudge around those beautiful blue eyes of his, but he refuses. While I probably wouldn't trust a man who wears makeup, (which with Mike it's okay because we've always had trust issues....haha...) I do think it's nothing-less than sexy. Heck, maybe one day I'll come home and he will surprise me wearing a ring of black around those baby-blues.... mmmm... a woman can dream can't she?

For God's Sake people...It's French Fries with NO SALT.

Okay, so I'm pretty pissed off, and just as I said before, this whole blog thing is going to be quite entertaining. I know it may not seem like a lot to you, but damnit I've been on this diet with "no added sugar or salt" thing for almost a week now, and If Mike drags me to McDonalds at 11pm after work so he can chow down on 2 double cheeseburgers and a Lg. Iced Caramel Coffee, it should only be acceptable for the douchebags who work at McDonalds to give me MY correct order. A LARGE FRY-UNSALTED. What do you know, we got back home and I quickly opened my "seperated bag of unsalted french fries". "Are you friggin' kidding me!?" Salt covered my thumb and pointer finger as I pulled it out of that large red box of fries. Damn.

"Home" makeovers... to bad it's not this easy to give PEOPLE Attitude Makeovers....

Funny how you can completely change the appearance, feel and mood of a room with a few cans of paint, some new flooring and a little re-arranging. In less than 11 hours, Michael and I had completely changed Aunt Jodie's living room space into a cool, crisp, welcoming place with seamless wood flooring, and a soft green hue on the walls. The ceiling received love too, as a fresh coat of paint dried above our heads creating new light and brightness inside the space.

During the whole day, I couldn't help but wonder why people choose to be so negative, and hateful. Especially to family. How quickly people can hold themselves higher than others and have no regard for others or their feelings. Mike and I must really be "bad" people. Hell, we spent our ONLY day off this week, remodeling a room for 11 hours that wasn't ours. I wish I could invest a couple hundred dollars and change my relatives completely, like we did that room.

So We Have Decided to Blog...

I'm thinking, "Hell, this could possibly be the best form of therapy I've found yet"! Anyone that knows anything about us, knows our lives are full of entertaining upside "downs", unbelievable "highs" and nearly anything "in-betweens". Maybe instead of the two of us harassing one another on a daily basis we can just BLOG our emotions and critical critiques of one another, or our lives, on here and hopefully prevent the typical "every 6 month" traumatic meltdowns we usually encounter, by releasing the never ending stressful and joyful happenings of our lives here... :)

This by far, should be the most entertaining spectical you'll encounter by being one of our readers! We are sure you will enjoy.

--Mike and Sari

Calling it like I see it